Selling Versus Helping

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How many times have you said (or hear someone say) –

I hate sales.

I’m not good at sales.

I just hate feeling pushy.

I never know how to follow up.

I get really nervous when I ask for money.

I struggle with being confident in my rates.

I could go on. But I won’t.

There are a few things going on here that I want to address.

Your subconscious mind is powerful.

Like unbelievably powerful. And every time you say “I hate…” you’re telling your subconscious mind that you hate something. And so it is.

Your self-talk around this is so important, guys. The more you tell yourself it’s bad, yucky, icky, pushy, sleazy and so on – the more true that becomes.

When you can’t sell – you don’t have a business. I hate to be so blunt about it, but it’s true. And it’s important. Change your self-talk – change your business.

You have to believe in yourself.

You have to have unshakable belief in what you’re doing. You have to believe in the value that you bring to the table. You have to know that the people you work with will be better off because of their time (and money) they spent with you.

Instead of thinking of how “easy” your skill set is to you – think of the value you bring to the person you’re working. If you think the keto diet is super easy – think of the value that your knowledge of the keto diet is to someone that is a hardcore sugar addict. If you’re a digital marketer – think of how valuable your marketing skills could be to someone’s business. If you get them the leads they need for their business – what would that mean to them? How would their life be impacted?

You have to believe that what you do changes people’s lives. Even if it’s in the simplest way.

Okay, so Ryann, how do I address this? I really don’t like selling though – how can I change that talk track? And I believe in what I do – but I’m still super nervous about people not seeing the value in it. 

The first thing you need to do is give yourself a little grace.

We don’t all become superstars overnight. Even the most successful online business owner or #1 producer in a large sales organization started somewhere. And they were probably terrified, too.

Here’s the small shift I want you to make immediately. Instead of thinking about “selling” to your ideal client, I want you think about “helping.”

How do you help people?

No one wants to be sold, but most of us want a little help. Most of the time, we’re willing to pay for life changing help.

You’re not selling someone health coaching or digital marketing services. You’re helping someone hit their weight loss goals and chase their kids. You’re helping someone get more visible in their business and make more money.

When you put it in that perspective – you’re doing the world a disservice by NOT selling them your solution. I was listening to a podcast this week by Kendrick Shope (she’s my unofficial mentor) and she talked about feeling like it is her obligation to keep serving and to keep helping.

Once I let that sink it – it really cleared things up for me. On the days that you don’t want to, on the days that you feel like you’re not serving anyone well, on the days where you would rather do ANYTHING other than take another “sales call” – keep in mind that by NOT doing it, you’re cheating someone out of their opportunity to get the help that they need.

Like all things in life, we can’t force people to get help when they’re not ready to. People have to ask for help. They have to want to put in the work, make the investment, show up every day, and take quit off of the table.

That’s what sales is.

It’s showing someone the way. If offering a solution. It’s understanding their situation, their goals, their pain points and what it’s worth to them to fix those problems. Once you do all of those things – you tell them how you can help, if they’re willing to helpf themselves.


Seriously though. Change your mindset around your sales conversations and really think about the value that someone gets when they work with you -you’ll be amazed how quickly your business will grow!


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