Revamp Your Sales Mindset

with No Comments

“Take the words spammy and salesy out of your vocabulary. You SELL a valuable service – there is nothing wrong with that. You are only being spammy if you’re consistently reaching out to the wrong people that don’t want to hear from you without providing value.”

Okay, so this conversation came up in the Sales Skills for Women in Business Facebook Group this week by one of the amazing women in the group.


How do I talk to people without being salesy or spammy?!

And this question, while I know is real for so many people makes me irrationally angry. I feel as if I should apologize ahead of time for this one – because I’m probably going to get on my soapbox…. Are you with me?!

Sales is the exchange of a product or service for money.
Nothing more. Nothing less.

It happens everrrryyyy single day. You pay someone to clean your house. You buy a cup of coffee. You pay someone to mow your lawn. You buy wine from a girlfriend who reps a winery. And so on and so forth.

Then WHYYYYYYY are so many people terrified of selling?!

(this is where the soapbox comes in…)


Yep, I said it. If you’re being spammy or pushy or annoying or obnoxious, if you feel icky or slimy – YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

We’ve all received that message that makes you cringe, right?!

It’s impersonal. It’s generic. And odds are – it’s ineffective.

How do we avoid that?!

You know what you don’t like. You know what makes you feel gross. Then DON’T do that to your audience.

I might be over-simplifying here, my friend, but it’s that easy.


Put yourself in the prospect’s shoes

If someone were going to try to sell you something (gasp, how dare SHE make money) – how would you want to be approached?

Would you be okay with a thoughtful, personalized message?

Would you be drawn into social media content that speaks specifically to you and your circumstance?

Would you be up for grabbing coffee with someone new to learn more about them and see if there is any opportunity to work together, if they were honest and genuine in their ask?

And, before you say “If I’m going to buy something, I’m going to buy it – I don’t need some salesperson selling it to me…” – that’s BS and you know it.  

How many of you watched Bird Box? You weren’t looking for it – your FB friends sold it to you.

I wasn’t in the market for mascara when Thrive Causemetics served me a FB ad – but I’m in LOVE and tell everyone I know about it. (Also sales).

I had NO IDEA I needed a mindset coach to help me grow my business. In fact, I didn’t know that was THING until I met my mindset coach, connected with her, followed her content on social media – then reached out to her to schedule a call. (Social selling).

Whether you call it sales, influencer marketing, advertising, social selling – we’re all being sold things everrryyyy single day.

Does it feel yucky or spammy. I didn’t think so.


Now that we’re clear on what sales is and is not

Back to your question – then how do I connect and SELL, Ryann?! I am in business to make money.

Selling is about connecting. We buy from people we know, like and trust.

So, step one – get to know people! Get out there (both in person and online) and start talking to people.

Step two – continue those conversations and build a relationship with them.

Step three – provide value to start building trust.

Step four – ask for permission to share about your products and services.

If you’re following these four steps – then there is NO WAY you can be salesy or pushy. You’re being genuine, thoughtful, and helpful – which is what we all want in a sales situation, right?!


How do you change your mindset?

I know it’s not easy to just CHANGE your mind. Believe me, I know (remember – I have a mindset coach).

It’s literally a physiological response when your put in a situation where you could be rejected. Your palms sweat. Your heart pounds. You literally cannot control it.

So what can you do to change it. First of all – you have to take notice. Notice when you’re telling yourself something that’s not true! Like “I don’t want to bother that person” or “If they were interested, they’d reach out to me…” While those things MIGHT be true – unless that person says “you are bothering me” or “I’m not interested” – then HOW do you know unless you ask?!

Again, it might appear to be an oversimplification – but the first thing you have to do is stop the thought and change it. “Oh, I bet she’s super busy and just forgot to reach out – let me ping her really quick.” or “I know how much noise is on social media – she might not even know I’m doing this promotion -so I have to let her know…”

See how quickly that can change your approach!?

The two key things I consistently share with the women in my Facebook group are:

1 – Selling is Helping! It is your job to HELP your prospects make decisions – even if it’s a NO!

2 – You have an amazing gift to share with the world! You are INCREDIBLE at what you do. You are doing people a disservice by not sharing what you do and signing people up to work with you! When you look at it through that lense – it’s easier to put yourself out there.

Leave a Reply